Some thoughts and pictures

Today was Grandma's birthday and we had a fun day all planned. We went to spend some time with my sister and her little boy (since all the rest of her kids are with us!!) at a park near her house. The park has a nice sprinkler set up for the kids to run through, so I packed each of the kids an extra set of clothes and off we went. Gracie was so excited, she just LOVES to visit James. We got there, and they were having a community bag lunch at the park. What an extra blessing...lunch prepared and at no cost! The kids were having a WONDERFUL time, running through the sprinklers and playing. There was a lot of giggles

 and even some screeching. Josiah absolutely loves the water running over him. He will just stand there and let himself get soaked to the bone!

The kids started to get cold (as did Mom, since I went right through the sprinklers with them), so it was time to head down to the swings and slide to let Mr. Sunshine do his job. James went tearing off, making his mom chase him down the hill. Like 2 year olds do. Then Gracie started to run after him, but immediately tripped and almost fell. That's when she broke my heart. She told my niece "I want to run like James does again."

AGAIN. Again? She remembers that she used to run like that??? She remembers and so that means she knows that there is something different about her. Somehow, I had myself convinced that she didn't remember before the stroke. Maybe it's because my life has been broken up into two phases. Before Stroke and After Stroke are pretty much how it is, and sometimes I have to think twice when someone asks me about how she was before. My favorite question is "Was she normal?" Yes, of course she was as normal as she could be (hello, look at her Mom and Dad)!    

Of course, my girl has an unfailing spirit, and as quickly as the thought left her mouth, the "swingslide" came into view and she was tearing away. It left my brain going crazy though. What else does she remember? Does she remember the pain that she felt from that horrible headache? Does she remember the tube down her throat and nose and all of the doctors hovering over her? Does she remember those days when she was blind and the fear she felt? Is that why she is suddenly afraid of the dark? Is she just as scared as I am????

We went on to have a fun day, but it was more somber for me. That word has been haunting me. Again.Thank God, children have shorter memory spans than adults.







Just keep smiling, baby girl!! "A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken."