The past few days I have been struggling with some guilt. I felt so terrible while she was in the PICU, for every time she annoyed me, or every time I raised my voice. Here we are, 6 weeks later...and she sometimes annoys me and I sometimes raise my voice. I keep thinking, "great way to be thankful, Michelle!" Today, I was driving to Wegmans with Josiah and listening to some good preaching. How many times have I heard these 2 verses? Probably 500! Today they took root though. Thanks God.
"Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:13-14
It hit me...like a ton of bricks. I was not a perfect mom before Gracie got sick, and I am not going to be a perfect mom now either!! She was not perfect before, and the stroke did not magically make her a sinless child. FAR FROM IT!!! It is still my job to discipline her, and yes sometimes I do get exasperated. The only thing I can do is to continue to press on. Feeling guilty is not going to help ANYONE in the long run, right?
Now, as for Grace, she is doing wonderfully! Tomorrow is the big day to get casted for her leg braces. Please pray she does well...she does not like any kind of procedure, so I am a bit nervous she might scream the whole time! Actually, change that prayer request...please pray for the poor person doing the fitting!
Now, as for Grace, she is doing wonderfully! Tomorrow is the big day to get casted for her leg braces. Please pray she does well...she does not like any kind of procedure, so I am a bit nervous she might scream the whole time! Actually, change that prayer request...please pray for the poor person doing the fitting!
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This reminds me of a story I heard was about Mrs. Marlene Evans. After a young mom had just learned that her little daughter had cancer, and it was very serious, Mrs. Evans took her out for a fun day of shopping and acting very silly. A few rare hours of acting like she didn't have a care in the world. Then at dinner, MRs. Evans became very serious in her conversation. She bluntly (in Mrs. Evan's fashion) said to the young mom that sometimes parents of sick children spoil them. They are well meaning but the illness keeps them from training the child as they should. She was warning the young mom and then they created a plan to prevent that from being the case. The young mom did correct and train her daughter even during her battle with cancer. It was very hard to do. But eventually the little girl beat the cancer and grew up to be a lovely sweet mannered lady.
I'm sure you're doing a great job, Michelle! 3 yr. olds can wear a mommy out even when they are well! I think of when just my girls have a flu and the days and days of constant attention and extra whininess really wear on me. I'm trying to imagine being in your shoes. I'm exhausted just comtemplating it!! =)
Praying for leg fittig tomorrow! My Maddie hates doctors and things like that... she acts like a wild animal just to get her temp. taken!! So praying for her, you and the poor cuker doing it! ;)
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