Today has been a very hard day to be here. My poor girl is trying SO hard to wake up and stay awake, but she's in pain, so the doctors keep upping the sedation and giving her Ativan. It is incredibly hard to sit next to her, knowing she is in pain, and not even try to help her. She did have another CT scan today, and it looked better. There wasn't a whole lot of change from the last one though, because the external shunt was doing the job of the one that failed.

I think I drive the nurses here crazy. I just have a lot of questions and I want them to be answered. Gracie is getting the PediaSure again, which is good. The next thing to do is to get her off of the ventilator. Once she's able to breathe on her own (or at least just with a nasal cannula), they can move on to restoration.

I can't wait to hear her little voice again. Every morning she would sit up in bed and say "Mommy, I waked up. Waked up, Josiah!" The last thing she really said to me was "that your blueberry coffee, Mommy?" Oh, to hear those words.